Does it scare you when you see me consume more than a cup of coffee every day and how it makes me sane more than anything in this world? Coz love, it scares me more knowing that you will leave again, one day, any time. So I try my best to be awake and watch you endlessly until I feel the need to sleep. Just so you know, you are much more addiction to me than coffee.
Does it scare you when you see me running out of breath, on very small yet enraging things, in the dawn, when the neighbours are still asleep so do with our cats and dogs? Love, it would scare me more if you weren’t by my side on those sad, wee hours of my life.
Does it scare you when I hoard for books like I won’t have another day buying them? Love, before you, they were my life. Also, I don’t easily abandon things and people especially if they made me happy and alive one time.
Does it scare you when you see me very confident in front of other people yet I can be very vulnerable in front of my real friends and with you? Love, I think it’s beautiful to think that I am more human when with you.
Does it scare you when I don’t talk to you for days yet I can write about anything under the sun? Are you afraid I might be writing about you too? Love, I am not losing you, am I? Coz if I am, then maybe I should really start writing about you too.
Does it scare you when you see me cry over sad movies and sad books like I am one of the casts? I hope it doesn’t occur to you that I am not happy with you because love, I am too delighted having you that I need to remind myself how to be sad for you make me forget how does it feel to.
I hope my love doesn’t scare you that you’d want to leave too, just like what the did.
—bsb
of spilled inks and coffee stains 